NFL Week 1 Recap

The first two weeks of September are among my favourites. My birthday, followed by the start of the NFL season. Along with those comes an increased heart rate, my gambling addiction, among other things.

Anyhow, on to the review.

Dallas 24, New York Giants 17

Dallas has shown a much improved secondary, of course Victor Cruz didn’t help his cause with a case of the “dropsies”, but Brandon Carr looks like a prophet as he did state “there will be no salsa dancing”. The game was not as close as the score indicated but Dallas definitely needs to improve that o-line if they are going places. The Giants secondary has problems. Their young boys got carved up, as did Corey Webster. I think his jock strap is still on the 30-yard line after Ogletree beat him with that double-move. Manning will right the ship, but the secondary needs to step up as well as the defensive pressure. Two sacks by the best defensive line in the league is not going to cut it.

Indianapolis 21, Chicago 41

Welcome to the NFL, Andrew Luck. You really didn’t think you were going to march onto Soldier Field and win did you??? Me neither. As for the Bears offense, Cutler is carrying on like his shit don’t stink. He’s already called out the Packers’ DB’s, telling them “good luck” on Thursday. I don’t know ’bout y’all motherfuckers, but you know where I’mma be at.

Philadelphia 17, Cleveland 16

Vick played like hot shit but Andy Reid did himself no favours with the horrendous play calling. You have a RB averaging 5.5 yards/carry yet you’re throwing 56 times. You’re an idiot. I’m sure Philly won’t play another stinker like that… actually, I’m not. I don’t expect it though. Cleveland… *sigh*, I’m not really fond of your city, God speed.

St. Louis 23, Detroit 27

No Madden Curse yet. We thought it was parlayed over to Stafford but he did bring the team back. Carry on.

Miami 10, Houston 30

Next.

Atlanta 40, Kansas City 24

The Chiefs fought valiantly but without your two best defenders against the Matty Ice and Julio Jones, I called this. I wish I got a chance to draft Julio in fantasy league, but I couldn’t take him over Megatron.

Jacksonville 23, Minnesota 26

Well… somebody had to win. They both still suck.

Washington 40, New Orleans 32

This game butchered my fucking Pro-Line ticket. I expected RGIII to have a good game. I didn’t expect them to hang 40 or New Orleans… at least not without the Saints dropping 50. FUCK!!! I wanna see if this clown can keep this shit up. He has folks in the DMV and elsewhere thinking SuperBowl already, sounds like a Bills fan. SMH, speaking of Bills fans…

Buffalo 28, New York Jets 48

Mark Sanchez really did save his touchdowns for the regular season. I’m claiming Stephen Hill off waivers in my fantasy league, I called this shit at the draft but couldn’t waste a pick on him when I knew he wouldn’t get chosen. Anyhow, the Jets defense is filled with bums, why is CJ Spiller averaging 12.1/carry though???

New England 34, Tennessee 13

Is anybody really surprised here??? I’m not. The only surprise is that a Patriots’ rusher cracked a bill on the ground.

Seattle 16, Arizona 20

Not surprised by the score, I’m more surprised that Kevin Kolb led the Cardinals to victory. Ain’t that a bitch.

San Francisco 30, Green Bay 22

I was impressed, no lie. They walked up in Lambeau like gangbusters and gave it to the Pack. I’d like to see them try that at Lambeau in January though. The way the season has started, they probably won’t have to anyhow.

Carolina 10, Tampa Bay 16

Last year, Carolina ran over the Bucs defense like a two-dollar whore, literally. Let’s just say this season, the Bucs defense put on a chasity belt. Ten yards rushing??? Whole fucking game??? Cam Newton, you sir are DIRT!!!

Pittsburgh 19, Denver 31

Peyton impressed me, I didn’t see this shit coming. Well I did. I think he took a year off because he was bored. Neck surgery my ass. That shit was a hoax. Is it just me, or is Polamalu an average defender now??? He just doesn’t seem to be everywhere like he used to.

Oh yeah… Ed Reed > Troy Polamalu

Hold that!!!

Cincinnati 13, Baltimore 44

A classic case of too many to not enough. I expected the Ravens to win, I didn’t expect them to throw hot coal up Andy Dalton’s ass like that though.

San Diego 22, Oakland 14

Another boring-ass AFC West confrontation. I’m so glad I went to the gym and home. If I went to the bar the only plus would be the wings.

Whether y’all agree or disagree, I couldn’t give a fuck less. I’ll be back with my thoughts on Week 2 tomorrow.

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