A lot of you fuckers are preparing for the big game this evening. There are rules and etiquette to be followed when visiting a friend or a “friend of a friend” to watch the game, with that being said, I wrote me a manual for your viewing enjoyment and application to any foul-ass, dimwitted moochers you may have showing up at your front door.
- You’re a guest, bring a beverage to share. Don’t walk with yuh two long empty fackin hand. Don’t bring a bottle of cheap ass Spumante or Baby Duck either. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Bring some rum, vodka or a six-pack of beer. Not one can of Crest for yourself, you selfish motherfuck.
- If you are going to bring a friend, it would be COMMON COURTESY to let the host know in advance. Don’t show up with somebody that was not invited by the host. One must give the host advance notice if they want outsiders in their humble abode.
- If you were not invited, do not try to invite yourself. If the individual wants you there, he or she will invite you.
- DO NOT DOUBLE-DIP!!! NUFF SAID!!!
- If you must the toilet facilities, be discreet, wash your hands and spray when done. If there’s no spray, light a match, do something.
- To follow up the last rule, DO NOT CLOG THE TOILET!!!
- Act like you have a home. Don’t be that person trying to stuff their plate with any and everything without consideration for others.
- We trying to watch the game, only football talk will be tolerated.
- No negative talk about football will be tolerated unless it is hate for a team involved. If you like Hockey, you can choose any non-black establishment in the GTA to watch a game because they’re always showing it.
- Ladies, the SuperBowl is NOT THE TIME TO ASK about the rules of the game. I don’t want to hear you ask “What does encroachment mean???”
- If you’re only there for the halftime show, go the fuck home.
- Three words that shall never be mentioned, “change the channel”
- Clean up after yourself, the host took a lot of time preparing or ordering food and making their place available, show some respect.
That right there are some rules. If you follow these rules, you’ll be invited to another party. If not, you’ll be marked whether you like it or not.