Category Archives: General Tso

Toronto Premium Outlets

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As for those of you who read my previous post in regards to bypassing Caribana, Miss R & I took a trip to Halton Hills to visit the Toronto Premium Outlets.

Those who know me, know I hate shopping. Especially, in Canada. I reluctantly went along on this trip. Not like I had shit else to do. As we entered the 401 West from the 407, instant piss off. Bumper to bumper traffic. It was 4:17PM at this point. I got to the mall at 5:23PM. See my frustration??? Here’s proof.

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Needless to say, this KMA mall was not well thought out and the intersection of Trafalgar & Steeles needs to be widened like a whore spreading it on the Lakeshore pavement. Yeah, did I mention parking in some old crop field because the mall had no more parking? Oh. Here you go.

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The appearance of the mall is nice minus the smell of cow dung. I do like the canopies on top of a portion of the shopping area. A bit small (85 stores). They had few nice deals and a quite a few lineups. I didn’t even make it into Ralph Lauren. Yeah, I don’t do lineups.

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No shopping trip is complete without seeing a group of Asians posing for pictures. Thought I’d help make em famous.

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Needless to say, I left empty-handed. Quite disappointed. I could’ve went into more stores, wasn’t feeling it.  If they plan to expand this POS, I’m interested to see how they’re gonna go about doing it.

To those who plan to go, go early or don’t bother.

P.S. If you’re hungry, there’s only five stores in the food pavilion. Hot trash.

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Weekend of the Summer

Caribana weekend usually happens to be the weekend of the summer for a lot of bammas out there.

Whether they putting on fake accents, renting cars they will never own or spending their baby bonus/child support to buy bottles in the club, you gotta admit… these folks clearly make it count. Y’all gotta witness this shit. As my boy Jay Martin would say, “this shit writes itself.”

Normally, I’d be preparing for tomorrow morning, thinking of what alcoholic concoction I will be staggering down the road while finding a nice piece of pooch to attack.  Not today though. I will be nowhere near the Lakeshore. I have retired from the Caribana Parade. I know some of you may be devastated, but don’t be. I’ll strike back. I always do. You’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ll be at the gym preparing.

2013 State of the Union Address

I don’t believe in resolutions. People can change when they decide to make change and do not need to wait for January 1st of (enter year here) to make that change. 

If one is serious about change, one needs to look in the mirror and change their attitude and outlook. Be the change you seek.  Enough of that shit though.  Happy New Year to all you fuckers.  Hope everyone makes a change for the better, not because it’s a new year, but because it’s something they want.

One thing about me that will not change, is the jerk that I am, at times.  For those who sent me drunk texts wishing me a happy a new year, or doing the good ol’ “copy and paste” technique, your texts have been ignored.  Regardless of the message.  As for those of you who sent messages and I have no idea what the number is??? LOL

Good day. 

Trolls

The social networking definition of a “troll”, according to the dictionary of Kontroversee is someone who wants to follow you and does nothing on their end. You want to follow me but you don’t post, you don’t add input… well, at least any positive input and are just inactive. There’s nothing wrong with being inactive, but you’re if there to just “maco” in people business and not say anything, you’re a fucking troll.

I cross-examine those who attempt to add me, and have refused a few of y’all. A perfect case would be on Instagram, you want to add me, but you have no pictures up but a whole heap of followers??? FACK OFF MATE!!! Your request was declined.

I don’t need trolls on my timeline, I already have people watching my every move. Whether it’s Megatron (my boss), and some other people who will remain nameless for strategic reasons. But yeah, trolling is not cool, find someone else to maco.

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Happy Thanksgiving

All yuh don’t get too excited. Notice how I wish everyone a happy thanksgiving on the ACTUAL DAY!!!

A lot of folks have what I call “Pre-Thanksgiving Dinner”, they celebrate Thanksgiving on Sunday, not the actual day, which is Monday. A few people were irked that I call it pre-Thanksgiving dinner. My argument of course, is that it’s not on the Monday. I was asked if my family celebrates it on the Monday, I replied “Yes.” I was told, “Well that’s stupid.”, so I asked “do you have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve?”, she replied, “No, that’s stupid.” I told her, “think about what you just said, and let it simmer.”

The point of this is not to change when you folks have your Thanksgiving dinner, but to acknowledge things on the day it was meant to be acknowledged. I don’t want to be told Happy Birthday, the day before my Birthday just like I don’t want to be told Merry Christmas on the 23rd, when we all know Christmas is on the 25th. It doesn’t make sense.

I have a few more posts in me today while I’m getting paid pretty nicely to do nothing on this man-made holiday. Happy Thanksgiving.

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Subway Quiz

For those of you in Toronto that ride the TTC, well the subways in particular, this should be fun. This site created by Matt Blackett called The Subway Quiz will leave you guessing. I made one attempt to guess the stations, I did the 10 station quiz and correctly answered nine. I think y’all should try it and post your answer.

I am a whore

I knew this would grab y’all attention. What I had meant to say is that I am a phone whore. I can’t settle with one phone. This is not a segue into anything else, I’m just saying. Every single time I find a phone I like, I find something wrong with it. Sounds all too familiar huh. Well you’re wrong LOL. I have gone through three phones in the past two months and still juggling between two. The HTC Desire HD was my flavour of the week a while back, that’s been launched to some lucky folks in Manila. Currently, I’m dabbling between the HTC One X and the Samsung Galaxy Nexus. I love the Nexus, and overall, I think it’s the better phone. However, the sexiness of the One X keeps pulling me in like a fish on a hook. Beats audio system built in, an 8-megapixel camera that works better than some of your own digital cameras. I’m in love. Except for the fact that the battery life sucks ass. I’m ready to chuck it back to the store. I don’t know what to do and don’t mention no blasted iPhone to me either. Not my cup of tea. Last thing I need is restrictions and to be walking around with a bunch of mindless bammas that have the exact same phone as me.

I think I’m going to be debating this one for a while until I get my new flavour of the week. Carry on, as you were.

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This Burns My Heart…

Those who know me, know that I am a big fan of German engineering, the brand from Ingolstadt in particular, Audi. I was reading an article online, clicked on the video to my dismay to view the heartburning-horror and travesty. An Audi R8, burning on the side of the Gardiner Expressway. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t think I want to know how it happened. However, I am deeply saddened by this loss. This sexy bitch was worth $134,000. R.I.P. Audi R8. 😦

Shoutout to bigalburrows on Youtube for posting the video.

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R.I.P. Captain John’s

The restaurant floating at the foot of Yonge Street since 1975, Captain John’s has been shut down by the city.

Waterfront Toronto rescinded its lease and warned “Captain” John Letnik that he has until July 27 to remove everything from the boat.

Letnik owes half-a-mil in back taxes, rent and insurance. The city ordered to have the water shut off and the health department ordered the restaurant closed as with no water, it will become quite unsanitary.

A lot of good times were had on this boat. Those who were there, know of my antics. Nuff girls get “fuzz out” pon dat boat. Don’t recall if anybody fell overboard doah…

R.I.P. Captain John’s, 1975-2012

For more details, hit the jump… Click Here

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Grow A Pair

I have already discussed how Social Networking has turn people into fools. For those who need to get caught up, click here. For those of you up to speed, let’s carry on.

If you have a problem with someone, address the problem with that person in the appropriate manner. Please keep in mind, the appropriate manner does not mean to shoot up the place, I was not referring to anything violent for the record. This post will NOT be used against me in that fashion, motherfuckers. No sir. People creating fake accounts on social networking sites and logging into other accounts to monitor ones movements is NOT COOL. There is no need for side-bitching (subliminal messages), if you want to use your account for that, call names. There’s no need to beat around the bush. If the person can see it and you’re talking about them, don’t be a coward about it… call names. My golden rule with this is you’re willing to oil up your chest and flex over social media, you better damn well have that same swagger in person. If you want to talk it out over the phone, there is no need to call private number, who are you hiding from that you have to call private. We’re all grown-ass adults, not kids. Stop hiding, that’s some crazy people shit. Everyone should be held accountable for what the say or do.

I recall a situation a few years back when there was a call to the house from some collection agency at Yonge & Eglinton, calling for my brother and the jive turkey on the line decided to talk a bit too reckless for my liking. I called her out on it, and she challenged me. What she did not expect though, was me showing up at her office asking her to repeat what she said to my face. Needless to say, she was very apologetic as was her manager. I’m pretty sure she didn’t want to deal with Louisville Slugger that morning and yes, I’m aware 53 Division was a block away. (Tell someone who gives a fuck)

There are a few others I can dive into but I’ll save that for when I decide to write a book. The point is, be straight-forward with your shit and don’t be reckless with your words on the internet or over the phone unless you actually have intentions of saying in a face-to-face meeting.