The Return of Odinson

New Thor Trailer dropped less than an hour ago. Definitely watching on the first night.

http://youtu.be/npvJ9FTgZbM

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Kadooment Day

I’m sure this picture of Miss Robin Fenty has made the rounds…

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With that being said, Cropover is a must next year. That is all.

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Toronto Premium Outlets

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As for those of you who read my previous post in regards to bypassing Caribana, Miss R & I took a trip to Halton Hills to visit the Toronto Premium Outlets.

Those who know me, know I hate shopping. Especially, in Canada. I reluctantly went along on this trip. Not like I had shit else to do. As we entered the 401 West from the 407, instant piss off. Bumper to bumper traffic. It was 4:17PM at this point. I got to the mall at 5:23PM. See my frustration??? Here’s proof.

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Needless to say, this KMA mall was not well thought out and the intersection of Trafalgar & Steeles needs to be widened like a whore spreading it on the Lakeshore pavement. Yeah, did I mention parking in some old crop field because the mall had no more parking? Oh. Here you go.

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The appearance of the mall is nice minus the smell of cow dung. I do like the canopies on top of a portion of the shopping area. A bit small (85 stores). They had few nice deals and a quite a few lineups. I didn’t even make it into Ralph Lauren. Yeah, I don’t do lineups.

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No shopping trip is complete without seeing a group of Asians posing for pictures. Thought I’d help make em famous.

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Needless to say, I left empty-handed. Quite disappointed. I could’ve went into more stores, wasn’t feeling it.  If they plan to expand this POS, I’m interested to see how they’re gonna go about doing it.

To those who plan to go, go early or don’t bother.

P.S. If you’re hungry, there’s only five stores in the food pavilion. Hot trash.

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Weekend of the Summer

Caribana weekend usually happens to be the weekend of the summer for a lot of bammas out there.

Whether they putting on fake accents, renting cars they will never own or spending their baby bonus/child support to buy bottles in the club, you gotta admit… these folks clearly make it count. Y’all gotta witness this shit. As my boy Jay Martin would say, “this shit writes itself.”

Normally, I’d be preparing for tomorrow morning, thinking of what alcoholic concoction I will be staggering down the road while finding a nice piece of pooch to attack.  Not today though. I will be nowhere near the Lakeshore. I have retired from the Caribana Parade. I know some of you may be devastated, but don’t be. I’ll strike back. I always do. You’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ll be at the gym preparing.

SuperBowl Sunday

A lot of you fuckers are preparing for the big game this evening. There are rules and etiquette to be followed when visiting a friend or a “friend of a friend” to watch the game, with that being said, I wrote me a manual for your viewing enjoyment and application to any foul-ass, dimwitted moochers you may have showing up at your front door.

  1. You’re a guest, bring a beverage to share. Don’t walk with yuh two long empty fackin hand. Don’t bring a bottle of cheap ass Spumante or Baby Duck either. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Bring some rum, vodka or a six-pack of beer. Not one can of Crest for yourself, you selfish motherfuck.
  2. If you are going to bring a friend, it would be COMMON COURTESY to let the host know in advance. Don’t show up with somebody that was not invited by the host. One must give the host advance notice if they want outsiders in their humble abode.
  3. If you were not invited, do not try to invite yourself. If the individual wants you there, he or she will invite you.
  4. DO NOT DOUBLE-DIP!!! NUFF SAID!!!
  5. If you must the toilet facilities, be discreet, wash your hands and spray when done. If there’s no spray, light a match, do something.
  6. To follow up the last rule, DO NOT CLOG THE TOILET!!!
  7. Act like you have a home. Don’t be that person trying to stuff their plate with any and everything without consideration for others.
  8. We trying to watch the game, only football talk will be tolerated.
  9. No negative talk about football will be tolerated unless it is hate for a team involved. If you like Hockey, you can choose any non-black establishment in the GTA to watch a game because they’re always showing it.
  10. Ladies, the SuperBowl is NOT THE TIME TO ASK about the rules of the game. I don’t want to hear you ask “What does encroachment mean???”
  11. If you’re only there for the halftime show, go the fuck home.
  12. Three words that shall never be mentioned, “change the channel”
  13. Clean up after yourself, the host took a lot of time preparing or ordering food and making their place available, show some respect.

That right there are some rules. If you follow these rules, you’ll be invited to another party. If not, you’ll be marked whether you like it or not.

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2013 State of the Union Address

I don’t believe in resolutions. People can change when they decide to make change and do not need to wait for January 1st of (enter year here) to make that change. 

If one is serious about change, one needs to look in the mirror and change their attitude and outlook. Be the change you seek.  Enough of that shit though.  Happy New Year to all you fuckers.  Hope everyone makes a change for the better, not because it’s a new year, but because it’s something they want.

One thing about me that will not change, is the jerk that I am, at times.  For those who sent me drunk texts wishing me a happy a new year, or doing the good ol’ “copy and paste” technique, your texts have been ignored.  Regardless of the message.  As for those of you who sent messages and I have no idea what the number is??? LOL

Good day. 

Phone Etiquette… Again

It’s pretty difficult keeping up with people you don’t speak with often and if you’re like me.  You’ll delete a few people you don’t speak to in ages, especially if you’re not close with them.

It turns out one of the jive turkeys I deleted, decided to send me a text message the other day.  My natural response from someone who says “hello” is, “Hello. Who is this?”, the fuckhead responds with “nvm”.  Oh. Ok.

Because I ask who is it, you want to send me a “never mind” acronym??? Well fuck you then!!! Cuz I ain’t guessing.  I haven’t spoken to your ass in like a  year and you wanna roll thru like “Jack-In-the-Box”, and I’m going to be waitin’ an sheeeeit??? Nah black.  I don’t move in such ways.  I know the person can see this message, and only because I’m at work, I won’t screen capture and send the message on their bum ass.  But yeah if you don’t talk to someone often, don’t get offended when they don’t have your number anymore.  That memory space can be put to better use.

Better yet, if I ask you a question, don’t say “never mind” or “nvm”, because I will type back the first expletive that comes to mind.  You’ve been warned.

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Trolls

The social networking definition of a “troll”, according to the dictionary of Kontroversee is someone who wants to follow you and does nothing on their end. You want to follow me but you don’t post, you don’t add input… well, at least any positive input and are just inactive. There’s nothing wrong with being inactive, but you’re if there to just “maco” in people business and not say anything, you’re a fucking troll.

I cross-examine those who attempt to add me, and have refused a few of y’all. A perfect case would be on Instagram, you want to add me, but you have no pictures up but a whole heap of followers??? FACK OFF MATE!!! Your request was declined.

I don’t need trolls on my timeline, I already have people watching my every move. Whether it’s Megatron (my boss), and some other people who will remain nameless for strategic reasons. But yeah, trolling is not cool, find someone else to maco.

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Happy Thanksgiving

All yuh don’t get too excited. Notice how I wish everyone a happy thanksgiving on the ACTUAL DAY!!!

A lot of folks have what I call “Pre-Thanksgiving Dinner”, they celebrate Thanksgiving on Sunday, not the actual day, which is Monday. A few people were irked that I call it pre-Thanksgiving dinner. My argument of course, is that it’s not on the Monday. I was asked if my family celebrates it on the Monday, I replied “Yes.” I was told, “Well that’s stupid.”, so I asked “do you have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve?”, she replied, “No, that’s stupid.” I told her, “think about what you just said, and let it simmer.”

The point of this is not to change when you folks have your Thanksgiving dinner, but to acknowledge things on the day it was meant to be acknowledged. I don’t want to be told Happy Birthday, the day before my Birthday just like I don’t want to be told Merry Christmas on the 23rd, when we all know Christmas is on the 25th. It doesn’t make sense.

I have a few more posts in me today while I’m getting paid pretty nicely to do nothing on this man-made holiday. Happy Thanksgiving.

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NFL Week 2 Recap

Needless to say this past weekend produced quite a few shockers. I’m actually happy I didn’t make it to the store before 1PM to play my tickets because I would’ve lost… badly.

Chicago 10, Green Bay 23

Both offenses looked horrible in the early going as it was slugfest. Green Bay did do a lot more to win this game. Clay Matthews is a monster. Chicago’s o-line is straight up dirt. As for Jay Cutler, the dude is a bum!!! A BUM I TELL YA!!!

Tampa Bay 34, NY Giants 41

This game disgusts me, I’m sure it’s NOT for the same reason as many of you would think. I’m shocked that Tampa Bay folded like fresh paratha in the fourth quarter. Eli has ice in his veins though and he is clutch.

I will say this, as much as people feel the move of the Tampa defense was “bush league” or dirty. It was neither. The last time I checked, a kneel down is still a play. Players are told to play for sixty minutes, play until the whistle. I like what Schiano did. What was to happen if a team was to do a “kneel down” and the ball is fumbled from the snap, then what??? This is why you don’t give up. Unwritten rule my fucking ass.

Oakland 13, Miami 35

Who cares. NEXT!!!

Cleveland 27, Cincinnati 34

The Browns have the unlucky feat of being in the same division as Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Cincy right now. Trent Richardson can ball. They’re going to need some time… and a lot of luck.

Houston 27, Jacksonville 7

Who needs Mario Williams??? Houston’s defense is on point right now.

Kansas City 17, Buffalo 35

The Chiefs are already looking forward to next year’s draft. As for the Bills, can the real Buffalo Bills please stand up??? They look like a handful when they can score. Yeah right, this is Kansas City bruh.

Baltimore 23, Philadelphia 24

Philly came out flat again and still won. Joe Flacco, you sir are DIRT!!! As for Vick, he’s not going to last the season at this pace. People are hitting up like a pinata.

New Orleans 27, Carolina 35

Saints are 0-2??? WHO DAT???

Arizona 20, New England 18

Shocker of the day. Ruined my ticket… if I had played one. I think the shocker is Gostkowski missing. Oh well. Fuck New England.

Minnesota 20, Indianapolis 23

Andrew Luck… yawn.

Washington 28, St. Louis 31

Deadskin nation has Josh Morgan to thank for this loss. Well… there’s other reasons. I think the bigger loss is Carriker and Orakpo for the season. OUCH!!!

Dallas 7, Seattle 27

Felix “ham hock” Jones needs to shape up or get shipped out. Dallas came out flatter than the chest of a girl who just started puberty. Seattle did bring the hammer, they’re tough at home but damn. Who saw this???

NY Jets 10, Pittsburgh 27

New York Jets are now 1-8 all-time in Pittsburgh. A damn shame. I guess people are calling for Teblow again huh???

Tennessee 10, San Diego 38

It’s going to be a long season for the Titans. As for Chris Johnson, he basically robbed Tennessee, after that extension he signed, he hasn’t done a fucking thing.

Detroit 19, San Francisco 27

I’m worried about Megatron not catching a touchdown pass yet this season. #MaddenCurse

The 49ers is impressing everybody… with their offense.

Denver 21, Atlanta 27

Atlanta came out on fire in the first half and basically held on for the win in fetal position.

A wild and wacky week 2. I need to get a better read on these schizophrenic teams before I throw down some more bets.